“Both Unicorns and dogs scare me with all of their free love and happiness!,” says Donald Trump. “We have to do something to stop unicorns and dogs!”
Read all about it in The Bad Influence:
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Unicorn News) In a startling move, President Donald J. Trump — Mr. Trump to you! — has signed an executive order, №666, declaring an immediate and total “SHUTDOWN” of Unicorns and other lovely creatures, such as fairies, from the United States, until “we can figure out what the hell is going on” and promised he was going after dogs next.