Despite My Advanced Age and Gray Hair
The upsides (and downsides) of having ADHD as an adult, despite being told it would go away as you grew older.
ADHD | Focus | Brain | Women with ADHD
1. You’re generous. You’re always there if a friend needs 10 bucks, 100 bucks if you’ve got it, but you probably don’t. You’ll often forget they even borrowed money from you. (Money management is not one of your strong points. And balancing a checkbook? Well, just forget it!)
2. You’re creative and don’t understand why experts give workshops in “How to Think Outside the Box.” You were born thinking outside the box and can’t understand why others don’t. You’re quick to offer solutions when others are stuck.
3. You’re smart even though you struggled in school. You flunked math. They said you shouldn’t go to college. You went anyway and took five years to graduate because every course was interesting except the ones you flunked. Eventually, you got a PhD after changing fields 4 times.
4. Your curious, ask lots of questions, have lots of ideas. It’s said that Einstein, DaVinci, and Mozart had ADHD. (Diagnosing centuries later is a bit “iffy.”) After all the ADHD brain never stops thinking!
5. You’re an entrepreneur. Most entrepreneurs have ADHD. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that 45% of new businesses fail after the first five years. (See 1 above about money management, and get a numbers person on your team immediately.)
6. You have a lot of interesting projects going on at the same time. Some you’ll never finish, but the ones you do finish are winners — it just takes you longer. (Case in point, the author of these encouraging reminders is writing two books at the same time.)
7. You hyperfocus. That’s why you get the book written, the project finished. It’s my favorite of the ADHD gifts, Those pesky experts often list the ability to hyperfocus as a negative trait. But I’ve yet to meet a fellow ADHDer who doesn’t love hyperfocusing.
Bonus: Hyperfocusing is good for losing weight because you forget to eat lunch.
Downside: OK, so when you’re not hyperfocusing, you’re procrastinating. But this is about the good stuff and you only procrastinate on the boring, stupid stuff anyway.
Lots of ADHD women are adopted. If this is you, you’ll enjoy the story of my birth-mother, and the story of my birth-father who died on D-Day in Normandy. Many years later an actor would play him in Steven Spielberg’s Band of Brothers.
Looking for more self-help stuff for ADHDers? If you’re a writer or a wannabe writer, take a look at my week of writing a memoir challenge. One trick for ADHDers is To-Do lists. Keeps the overwhelm down . . . until you have too many to do lists. Get to do list help now.
“Shooting Myself in the Foot describes the fear some adopted folks have over going against their parents’ wishes . . or how it took me four years to write a master’s thesis and what I did with it!
You might also like my musings on Staying at Home because of COVID 19: The Good, The Bad, and the Not So Ugly. Or perhaps my story about Losing the Letters of Willa Cather: An Adoption Story about Unworthiness or the trauma of Losing a Father.
I also write about ADHD, writing, and random topics that strike my fancy. Thanks to ADHD, I’m writing two books at the same time: “Finding My Hero: An Adoption Memoir from World War Two” and “Growing Up Adopted: Love Wounded.” (One is the story of my birth-father and his family. The other, the story of the family who adopted and raised me with love . . . and a lot of harmful mistakes. (No family is perfect!)
In between writing, I coach adopted women, giving them tools that make healing faster than just talking.
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