body-image body-positivity body-shaming personal-development self-improvement

Screw you — I’m good enough.

Screw you — I’m good enough.

Photo by i yunmai on Unsplash

I can’t help but question what we have been told to see as ‘perfect’. Does perfect even exist? But aren’t we all a cluster of imperfections?

So often, we judge people and things by how we’ve been told to look at them. We’re so blinded by the beliefs of the society that we tend to ignore how we lose our perspectives in the process.

A zero size figure isn’t perfect to me but my belly fat surely is.
The way I have been criticized and constantly reminded to lose weight to look ‘perfect’ is sickening. At almost every stage of life, there is someone who has judged me for being myself and directed me to look a certain way as if I am not aware of my body.

The unceasing cycle of judgment and criticism made it obnoxious for me to live in this society with fault finding beliefs.

Crumbling someone’s self-confidence and body shaming them is so common in our society that it’s no longer even significant.

“Don’t wear that dress, Saanya. Why don’t you try something a bit baggy?” “Um, I thought you were hitting the gym these days but it doesn’t look that way?” “Oh, don’t eat that junk, you aren’t going to lose weight this way.”

I want to wear that dress because I love it and I think it fits me just right? You can’t expect to see a difference in me after I’ve worked out for just a freaking week. And, I want to eat that junk food because I haven’t eaten it in a long while trying to lose weight only to get rid of these comments forever.

No one wishes to look into the mirror and not feel good enough about their body size and shape just because the society tells them so. I didn’t either. But I remember spending a quarter of an hour looking into the mirror almost every day after a shower and not loving my body at all.

Just like any other human, I started degrading myself and started contemplating ‘I’m fat and I need to look slimmer’. Just because the people around made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, I switched to working out and reduced my diet to look perfect to them.

Is it normal? Doing something that the society tells you to although you don’t think there is a need?

Isn’t it all hypocrisy? How we all have been told to never stop being ourselves and still judged by our body size?

Only if one realized what all it took to love the stretch marks on my body and embrace my body size.

The humiliations by the society and the psychological harm that comes along with it just lower the self-esteem of those who are body shamed. In the process of trying to be idealistic, people like me succumb to the pressure of living up to the unrealistic standards and end up criticizing themselves.

Although I learnt the mantra of self-love and self-confidence, the outcome remained ineffectual in the beginning as the coercion of the society seemed to overpower the positive in me whatsoever.

You can spend months toiling on your body or getting used to your body type, but it takes seconds for someone to shatter it all.

Body shaming isn’t cool. If you’re skinny or fat, or your ribs are visible or you have belly fat, you’re still a human being, okay? In no way does your body size reduce your worth or your beauty.

“You’d fit into your clothes better if you lose some weight, Saanya.”
And, you? You’d be a better person in life if you try to get some sense and realise what harm body-shaming does to the other.

I let go of the expectations of the people around that kept pulling me back. I couldn’t just sit back and not be compassionate about my body because it wasn’t perfect to others. I could feel all guilty about it but then who are they to judge what I look like?

You’re the only one who gets to decide your definition of perfection.

At this point, if I’m confronted about the way I look, I know I don’t have to bother myself and ignore my self-worth just because I don’t have a small waist like the celebrities and models on magazine cover pages.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise Hay

Screw you — I’m good enough. was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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