There are signs and we ignore them — many times due to societal conditioning that teaches us to adjust. However, there are some key signs in an argument that will point clearly to a self-centered and highly narcissist partners. Here is a short three pointer guide to recognize one
You are completely at fault, irrespective of the situation
“It is all your fault”, “You spoiled my life”, “You turned my life upside down”. Sound familiar?
In order to see our accountability in a situation, we need to think from another person’s perspective. Narcissists lack the ability to think of anyone else. As a result, narcissist partners do not have the capacity to look beyond their own emotional pain. They often fail to acknowledge their active or passive role in an argument.
A common sign is the habit of attributing complete blame to the other, without understanding that a situation is created by the participants and the environment. Attributing complete blame frees up the mental space for them to continue thinking of their own well-being without being bogged down by human emotions such as guilt. Basically, everyone and everything is to blame, save the narcissist.
Their life is more important. Period.
Over the course of the relationship, you will be trained in their life story, their struggles, their victories, their mindset. It is a course you never knew you were signing up for. Do not be surprised if the conversation always ends up about them. In the beginning you might be enchanted by their confidence as they talk for hours about their career, dreams and life. Slowly, you might realize that makes up for 90% of the conversation content which usually ends up being a monologue
Your version of the events will always be wrong. They know better than you
Spin the yarn…sorry…story!
In discussion and arguments over past events with a narcissist partner, you will feel that you both lived in two completely different realities. You might realize that your partner tells a different story about an event, based on the set of people involved. This might cause many partners to second guess the events and their role, before they start catching on to a pattern.
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