Getting Back to What’s Important To Me
I decided to eliminate alcohol from my life a long while ago however, I couldn’t do it. Sometimes while sitting on the back porch, having a glass of wine and looking at the world around me, I would think back to my curiosity and wonder as a boy. Like most kids (at that time) I was rarely sitting, always in the woods and always amazed by the world around me. It took me a while but I realized that now as a grown man, I was “adulting” and not living up to the vision I had of my adult self as a child.
We each have unique physiology and respond differently to various chemicals. Personally, alcohol detracts from my enthusiasm, curiosity, energy and experience. I began to recognize that as I budgeted the time to sit back and enjoy my favorite adult beverage I was dreaming about the future but not acting. This continued to nag at me and became unacceptable at a certain point. I made a pact to myself to find the younger version of me that was driven to experience the world with an intensity that only sobriety could bring.
I started with a 30-day cleanse and then extended my sobriety to 90 days. I gave in over the holidays but then started back up in January 2019 and quit drinking for 7 months. It seemed at that point I decided to attempt casual drinking for work social events or hanging with good friends. I felt like my inner child or inner voice was disappointed in me because, at my core, I knew this was not good for me. I again eliminated alcohol and then again slipped and fell, making excuses to myself such as “you’re under a lot of pressure and stress, you deserve a drink” “red wine is supposed to be good for you”.
Again, I do believe we are all wired differently. I share this small part of my story in the event it could help someone else struggling with the same ideas and decisions. Our current global health pandemic certainly reinforces to me the need to stay healthy and strong as a matter of survival. For me, the idea of spending time with something that numbs the pain is the stuff nightmares are made of. Now more than ever, I feel that our world needs us to NOT relax but take action and work harder to improve ourselves.
Powered by WPeMatico