creativity life personal-development self-improvement writing

How much medium Pays For 1000 Views.

Truth behind mediums paying system.

Powered by WPeMatico

life life-lessons love marriage self-improvement

Vacuum Cleaner Dancing In The Dark

Ouch, he didn’t see that one coming

Powered by WPeMatico

life life-lessons self-awareness self-help self-improvement

17 Lessons I Learned About Life As a Teenager

Life is not fair, better get used to it.

Powered by WPeMatico

life life-lessons mental-health psychology self-improvement

Comfort is your #1 disease. Here’s how to banish it from your life

Photo by Yan from Pexels

One of our biggest regrets from the book 5 Regrets of dying is: we didn’t have the courage to live the lives we really wanted to live.

Whether it was from people pleasing or just fear — a there is a really bigger root cause: Comfort.

We’re too scared, comfortable, whinny and excuse making to go after what we really want.

The chair feels real cushy…until we have a needle that pokes our butt!!!

And if not checked it can happen to all of us.

And that’s the thing. With all the tips and tricks you may learn: here is an important lesson: The path to success is typically counter intuitive.

Doing the necessary hard stuff (often only in our minds) is actually what will get you there the quickest.

In fact I dare say, most of us use tips and hacks to patch things up.

When we develop the courage to consistently get out of our comfort zones things actually begin to really shift.

And we have our big breakthrough.

Here are a few ways to make yourself uncomfortable in order to comfortably reach your desired levels of success.

And to be clear, nothing’s wrong with feeling good. We just shouldn’t use it to feel too comfy and settle for less than we want.

Take a cold shower

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Very often, people who are comfy either think too much or don’t think a lot at all. Life just feels so good and they’re so chill. A good cold shower, especially in the morning fixes that.

Cold showers have been proven to be quite effective for boosting will power and fostering discipline by many books and studies.

But the point is, it really shocks your system. Now I get it that it may seem like too much for you, but try. Try it one morning or heck, now!

The jolt and dopamine release you get from consistently doing it is enough to set your life right back on track.

Another good reason is that it’s also a great stress reliever.

If you’ve got a lot of your mind or just want to wind down from a long day, a nice cold shower will have you sleep like a little puppy.

Change where you live once every 2 years

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

This one is a bit contentious for some. If you’re paying off a mortgage for your new home or for family / professional reasons, it may not be as practical.

However if you’re a digital nomad or you’re living in an apartment, it’s a great way to shake things up.

It is said variety is the spice of life right?

Changing where you live forces you to adapt to a new environment and literally become a new person.

Two years is a reasonable amount of time for the average person. However if you’re really a fanatic like I am, try three months!

Travel, new cultures, new sceneries, new people changes you…and actually helps you see who you really are over time.

You’ll be able to see what changes and what’s the same within you that actually needs changing.

Meditate daily

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

With all that’s changing and we’re forced to react to, you need a center.

Just like when you staring down under in the bathroom. You need to stare up and pause daily at your mind.

Meditation is so wonderful and beneficial. Cultivating a daily habit does wonders for your focus, discipline and world outlook.

Learning to notice and calm the monkey mind feels like a super power when you don’t have it.

And It is. Especially on days where things don’t go as planned and your world seems to quickly fall apart.

Apart from the numerous benefits I can write an entire book on, meditation allows you see yourself and thoughts for what they really are and change then.

And it doesn’t have to complicated or Woo-Woo.

Taking a brief moment to reflect and listen to your mind allows you more clearly identify negative thought loops, habits that aren’t serving your goals.

You will also be more mindful of your activities during your day.

These benefits all sounds sweet and warm…but you must commit to them and make it a habit to really see them.

Get a coach

Photo by visuals on Unsplash

Yes, you read right. Get a coach. Not a sports coach (although that’s not bad either) but a life coach.

One of the biggest reasons we don’t actually make progress towards our goals despite wanting it so much is that you’re not accountable to anyone else.

Having a “professional friend” will allow you to more objectively look at yourself, your shortcomings and how you perceive reality.

This is vital especially if you’re the type who don’t think you need one. A good coach will never make it about them and will hold you firm to your highest standards and desired outcomes than you feel like you can realistically attain right now.

We’re all human. We make mistakes and have bad days sometimes. But it’s not how many times you fall, but how many you have the courage to keep getting up and pressing on that counts.

A good coach helps you not keep falling for your own BS and get the outcomes you really want.

I have one myself!

Pick a new area to re-invent yourself every 90 days

Photo by Cata on Unsplash

We’re constantly going through changes and transitions in our lives. Whether it’s losing that baby weight or switching from a job into an full time business owner, there is always something to be attained.

Whether major or small, instead of feeling like we’re dragging our feet or we’re being literally forced to do it, be proactive about it.

Instead you should actively seek to re-invent yourself every 3 months.

Why 3 months you may ask?

90 days is a realistic amount of time to form a new habit and commit to a new cause. It’s why many exercise programs and course happen in 90 cycles.

And that could be anything: gaining a new certification, learning a new skill or taking that dance class.

To be happy and to fully grab life by the horns, you must see it as happening for you and not to you.

And my selecting the right changes to make and committing to them, you’re doing just that.

Have personal standards

Photo by nappy from Pexels

This one is little pink elephant doesn’t get much attention. But it’s very important and crucial to any sustained success you’ll have.

Who you are is more important than what you’ll get.

We often mistake the attainment if “goals” as they’re what will ultimately make us happy.

However, it’s the achievement of those ideals and who you become that’ll make it worth having.

If I were to hand you a Rolls Royce, would you value it as much as whether you had to earn you way to being able to purchase it yourself?

We value what we earn. And even when we get lucky, it’s because of who were to get ourselves aligned to be fortunate that got us there.

Having personal standards, values and even rules allow you to clearly define who you need to be in order to have the life you really want, instead of just relying on willpower to push your through.

Those of you who have kids, wouldn’t you do anything to make sure they’re safe, fed, happy and well off?

And that would be because you’re a good parent, right?

Exactly the same applies for your goals…and committing to being your best and being clear on exactly what that looks like goes a long way.


A lot of us are afraid of what it would really take because we think our lives will end up too messy.

But the thing is it’s supposed to be that way. There’s no one perfect life story, or come-up situation out there.

Therefore you need to be proud doing you and let go off all shame. You’re good enough just the way you are to begin.

Learn to commit to your greatness with pride, and you’ll be shocked at how fast you’ll have it.

Ready to Upgrade and change your life?

I’ve created a cheatsheet for you to get more done, achieve more and finally be happy, immediately. If you follow this cheatsheet, will have the tools to get what you want and have the life of your dreams here.

Comfort is your #1 disease. Here’s how to banish it from your life was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Powered by WPeMatico

inspiration love mental-health self self-improvement

7 Things to Tell Yourself When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Number 3 —  It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Powered by WPeMatico

education lifestyle personal-development self-improvement work

The REAL Way to Fake it Until You Make it

We’ve learned it all wrong

Powered by WPeMatico

growth life personal-development self-improvement success

Success Isn’t a Result of Chance, It’s a Result of Unseen Disciplines

Disciple yourself for success by living with intent every day

Powered by WPeMatico

life life-lessons mindfulness self self-improvement

The Fear Of Life’s Uncertainties

maraisea; pixabay

The world can be scary, when facing all the many uncertainties we come across in our lifetimes. I don’t believe anybody is immune to the potential worries and fears that can cross our paths at anytime. Whether a toddler, or an elderly person, the uncertain parts of life will become a reality at some point.

When I think of all the rough times I survived, I feel like I’m a natural at this subject. I was definitely born to cover topics like these. The kind that I’ve already lived. My more difficult times I experienced were times that were totally loaded with serious uncertainties. Often times, they were quite frightening to experience. And back in them days, I wasn’t necessarily the kind of person who could be open about it, like I am today. I couldn’t even speak of it at that darker time of my life, let alone write about it.

It can be rather fascinating to look at things like uncertainties, and realize that we put our most powerful stresses, fears, and worries on the things in which we carry the least bit of control of. We put a lifetime of pain into the type of things that we just cannot do anything about. We fester, and we lose sleep, risk health, and live in anxiety.

So are these things just painful vices that we all carry with us for our whole lives. At first, the answer is yes. Because none of us are immune to the stress, and uncertainty of what is going on in this world.

John Hain; Pixabay

In a recent discussion with a board certified Psychiatrist MD, we spoke a lot on this type of subject matter. It was expressed to me that these things really are just a part of life. Without necessarily any kind of pill that can simply cure it away. The doctor told me that one of the greatest flaws in the science of the brain, is its natural desire to predict and determine the future. It’s something that is easy to see, considering how much we stress out about things that either a. haven’t come to be yet, and or b. may not come to be ever anyway.

When I was reading up on this, the quote I found that stuck out most the following- “Normally, our brains make decisions for the future based on our past experiences. When the future is uncertain or we’re experiencing something new, we can’t rely on past experiences to inform our decision-making.” (-Kelly Burch, Insider Magazine.)

Practice mindfulness for the fear of the unknown

As with so many other type of issues like mental health, mindfulness is the avenue of choice, for experts. Mindfulness practices and exercises can work great, but adopting mindfulness as more than just an exercise is my own personal recommendation.

pixels 2013; pixabay

I found that when I studied it, to make it part of my nature, I became better equipped to use mindfulness skills on an instinctive level. So, even on my not so great days, I still was able to have skills ingrained in me that became available whether I was totally conscious of it or not.

I know it is much easier said than done, but once we can use mindfulness and harness it to be aware of all the focus of ours that we are putting into the things in our lives that we really can’t control. It may take a lot of practice, but it isn’t impossible.

After working on this skill consistently I was able to improve on exactly this exercise. Now, we are not perfect, so I can’t say that I never worry about unimportant or things out of my control. But I have greatly improved, and over time I am able to look at myself and realize that my stress levels have dropped significantly. I don’t nearly live in fear of the unknown like I used to. It’s a empowering feeling, when a point like this can be reached.

EliasSch; pixabay

It’s a skill of letting go, and realizing we just have to accept the fact that we can’t control the world, and we have to take care of things as they happen. Not project the future, and strain our souls over what is not certain. Just like we practice acceptance in other parts of our lives, we have to accept what life gives us, and accept it as it comes.

Prepare for what we can prepare for and do not lose ourselves in the fears and worries of things that that same fear and worry won’t heal or fix.

We can live in a new quality of life. One that doesn’t feel like an impending doom of what “terrible” things may happen tomorrow.

geralt; pixabay

Michael Patanella

is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.

The Fear Of Life’s Uncertainties was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Powered by WPeMatico

advice habits happiness life-lessons self-improvement

Five Simple Core Beliefs of Happy People

Those which you wouldn’t find in the minds of the miserable

Powered by WPeMatico

mindfulness positivity self-awareness self-improvement self-love

Butterfly and I!

A unique story of love which you haven’t heard about before!

Powered by WPeMatico